Our Humanitarian Marines

So, back when I was in the Army every few rounds in our mags were tracer, aka incendiary rounds. They made for a great fireworks show above your head as you were low-crawling through the wire in basic training.

So - here is what I think happened in Afghanistan. Taliban started shit with some Marines. Said Marines smoked the Taliban - literally - by lighting them up with regular and incendiary ammo. Once the battle was over, our Marines transitioned to caring mode. We all know the Taliban have strict burial customs and expectations for the afterlife.

Those dispatched by our war fighters are promised 72 virgins. Our Marines, notorious chasers of poontang themselves, were simply being considerate. They noticed their incendiary rounds had started several small, smoldering pockets in the flowing garments of the enemy. Marines know it is hard to copulate when you are on fire. In desperation they cast about for water with which to extinguish the embers before a full scale conflagration began. Having finished all their water before and during the fire-fight, the Marines, true to tradition,  improvised, adapted, and overcame. They whipped out their Johnson's and used sterile H2O from their own bodies to extinguish the flames threatening to consume the enemy and which would have prevented the Taliban from getting laid in the afterlife. It is difficult to engage in intercourse with a wiener shriveled in a barbecue, after all.

I think our idiot politicians should recognize these Marines for this kind act. Rather than forget about the enemy, our Marines chose to sacrifice their own bodily fluids in a humanitarian manner so the deceased enemy could become vagitarians in the hereafter.